


Walking By Monster Light: Purgatory

by oneshiptorulethemall



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Ficlet, M/M, Oneshot, Purgatory, Purgatory!Verse, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 14:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3212957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneshiptorulethemall/pseuds/oneshiptorulethemall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's worst nightmare is becoming his reality. He and Cas crashlanded into Purgatory, and now Cas is nowhere to be found. Dean doesn't know if he's okay or even alive. But not all hope is lost. A figure from the past appears with the purpose of helping Dean escape Purgatory. Following this from his past, Dean travels through Purgatory. In order for Dean to leave Purgatory, he must first follow his guide in completing seven sacred steps. But before Dean can even consider leaving Purgatory, he has to find Cas. Because nothing in Heaven, Hell, or even Purgatory can keep him from saving them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

"Cas?", Dean turned around frantically in circles, but his angel was nowhere to be found. God this can't be happening. 

"CAS?", Dean yells louder, his voice cracking, and he can't help but hate the fear he hears in his own voice. The bushes and woods rustle around him, and light flickers in from watching eyes, sizing Dean up and down. Dean can feel his heart beating in his chest, quickly, rising, rising, beating. 

"Cas?", Dean says one more time, a quiet whisper whisking out on his breath in a puff of air. Dean's head is spinning and he doesn't know if its the teleportation into Purgatory, The fight, or a little of both. Light starts to flicker and dot around the edges of his vision,  as his blood reaches maximum volume, beating into his ears with the sound and power of a thousand rivers. A rustle, a noise right next to Dean. He see's a quick flash of a young boy, out of focused quickly disappearing into the underbrush. 

"Who's there?", Dean yells, standing up, all his frustration and rage setting him on edge. Another flicker, a rustle. The same kid again. What the Hell? He stops for a second, quietly examining Dean with a quick smile before turning away and running off into the bushes again. Shaggy brown hair, big toothed grin, and an old aviator pilot jacket run into the distance. 

"Sammy?", Dean stutters out, unsure, 

I must be losing my mind, Dean thinks, as he slowly starts moving in the underbrush where Sammy ran off into. But he couldn't stop himself for making sure, doublechecking, and he picked up as speed after the boy in front of him,

"Sammy! Wait!", Dean yells after the boy, turning around a corner in the bend.

Dean runs straight forward into a clearing, his feet stumbling under him, and all the weight of everything he's just seen falling down on him at once, he loses his balance, tripping and wiping out in the dirt. He skids on his hands and knees in the dirt, the mud flecking up all over him, smearing all over his face and clothes. He pushes himself up into a sitting position. Little Sammy's standing right in front of him, his back turned to him. 

"Sammy?", Dean asks warily, knowing that whatever this is it can't be his brother, but he can't find it in him to sit up, defend himself, from whatever this is. A few seconds tick by, But Dean can't take this anymore. Can't take any of this. Cas, where are you? Please.. Is all Dean can think as he trudges his way forward to whatever this is in front of him. His feet moving so slowly he feels likes he's walking through molasses. Dean finally reaches the boy, and reaches his hand out to rest it on the boys shoulder....

As Dean's hand makes contact the boy swirls around, screaming. His eye's wide and yellow, blood oozing out of his mouth and nose. Sammy, No, whatever this apparition is, grabs him by his jacket whipping him across the ravine. Dean hits down hard with a thud and a gasp, before he can move, it's already there in front of him. 

"Oh, Dean. How predictable you are. Just couldn't not follow after little Sammy huh?", the anti-Sammy, the beast, smirks, a hellish, evil grin that twist and contorts Sammy's precious face. 

"What- Who? What are you?", Dean manages to gasp out, struggling under the pin of this monsters grasp. 

"Oh, Dean, I think you already know.", Anti-Sammy drops Dean, and he falls back down with a Humph! from his lungs. Sammy's standing in front of him now, standing there staring at him eerily, that nasty smug expression dominating his features. 

Dean coughs out a breath, smearing some blood away from his lip, "Let me guess, The girl scouts are taking on new recruits?". 

Dean smirks and the beast growls, running forward in an instant, snatching Dean back up again and whirling him up and around again. Dean comes smashing back onto the ground, wincing at every hit. Cas, Cas, Help... Losing... Hope.....

"Oh, Dean, You can hide behind the wit as much as you want. But you and me both know that it won't work with me.", Sammy blinks and his eyes transition between Sammy's and the yellow eyed demon's eyes. 

"And why not?", Dean asks him, although a part of him he already knows the answer. 

"Because, Dean. I am you. Don't you get it, Dean? You've lost it. All those years of trying to keep little Sammy in one piece has taken its toll. A mighty big one. And when Castiel left you, poor, hopeless, Dean, all by himself in Purgatory. You couldn't handle it.", The boy taunts Dean, seeming to move around him effortlessly, his words echoing in his ears like monstrous thoughts, clouding his judgement. 

"No.. This can't be happening...", Dean mutters, trying to stand up. The boy moves in front of him, into his pathway instantly, blocking him off.

"Oh, Believe me this is happening, Dean. Welcome to Purgatory."

* * *

 


	2. II.

The world's starting to spin off its axis and Dean feels the ground underneath him start to shake, throwing him even more off balance then he already is. This Sammy in front of him, his consciousness, his mind, whatever it is, laughs at Dean's expression, getting off on all the emotions boiling through him. 

"This... this can't be happening. How.. How are you... what are you?", Dean manages to get out, even though his head is screaming like it's about to split open like a walnut, and his eyes are straining to stay open and functioning. 

Sammy snickers, looking Dean up and down like he hadn't eaten in a week and had just discovered Dean was the lunch special of the day,

"Relax, Dean. I'm just fucking with you. You're not crazy, at least not yet."

"Oh, great, fantastic.", Dean, rolled his eyes, scanning quickly around him for some kind of weapon to use against whatever this little shit was. His vision was still blurry and spinning, and he was too unnerved to focus them even a little bit. This was all so fucked up, he couldn't even pull himself together for this. Dean's eyes zipped back to Monster Sam, who was looking at him with an exaggerated expression. 

"You don't need a weapon, Dean, I'm not going to hurt you. I lied about you being crazy but not about the other details. I am a part of you, Dean"

Dean's mouth fishgaped open and closed a few times, struggling to make anything even somewhat comprehensive to say. All he could get out was a few words,

'How can I even believe a thing you say? This is Purgatory and the only things in here are monsters. You could be a shiftshaper or ghoul or some bullshit. How do I know you're not just playing with me before you eat me?", Dean words came out fast and sharp, like he was starting to get a grip back on himself and this situation.

"Well, you don't know for sure. I mean, for fucks sake, this is Purgatory. But before you try to fight me, just hear me out. I mean, if I was going to kill you I probably would have by now." Sam smirked, lighting up his yellow eyes. Dean couldn't stop looking at them, those yellow eyes filling him with disgust. He had to pull his eyes away from them, looking down at his lap. 

"Well," Dean finally said, wiping his hands on his jeans and starting to pick himself off the ground, "Let's say for one fucking minute I believe all this bullshit you're spewing. What would you even be? How.. how could you even be here, let alone be a part of me?", Dean moved the rest of the way off the ground as he spoke, slowly unraveling himself to a standing position. 

Dean's heart was beating fast in his chest, his adrenaline still pumping, speeding up as it felt Dean prepping to fight this monster in front of him. He was trying to keep his body language from revealing how freaked out he really was, hiding behind the sassy asshole routine to hide the coward that he really was. 

 "This is Purgatory, Dean. We don't play by Earth rules here. This is a land of monsters and death. The fact that you have a soul, and that your hearts still beating, is why I'm here. I'm a failsafe.", Sammy replied in a bored tone, kicking rocks around in the dirt. 

"A failsafe? Like Dr. Strangelove?", Dean replies, his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. Sammy rolled his eyes, making a pointed face back at Dean like  _Can I finish my speech now?_  Dean shut his mouth quickly, hoping to prolong this as long as possible until he thought up a plan. Sammy, Seeing that Dean had shut his mouth for now, continued his sales pitch,

"When God made Purgatory he made it to contain the Leviathans and monsters. Not his precious Humans. They either go up or down, notice how Purgatory isn't an option?", Sam paused, waiting for Dean's response.

"And... your point?", Dean asked, shrugging his shoulders in a way that always pisses Sam off, especially when he's trying to make a point. He wanted to see if this thing was really Sammy, or at least really good at pretending to be Sammy. Sammy reacted the same as always, scrunching his little nose, his face flushing with exasperation. _Uncanny_ , Dean thought, as the monster retorted back an answer,  

"So my point, dickwad, is that you're not supposed to be here. God made a failsafe that would allow any living creature to escape Purgatory if needed. A piece of each person's consciousness, each person's soul, is dedicated to this purpose. To appear as a guide to lead any wayward humans home.", Finally, some of the bullshit that this scumbag's saying is starting to make sense.

Dean didn't know if he believed the kid, but he knew that if this thing had wanted to kill him it would have already. Against his better judgement, he trusted the kid. I mean, what other explanation was there to believe? What other choice did he have? He knew that this was his best option, and if needed, he could always try ganking this little demon if things went south. He let out a sigh, not even believing what he was about to do. 

"Well kid, I guess you're my North Star, Huh? My one way ticket out of here. Fine, I believe enough of what you're saying. But if it turns out I'm wrong about you-",

"Save me the dramatics, Dean. Anymore questions?", Sam asked, his eyes flicking yellow as he rolled his eyes.

"Yea, just one. If you're a part of me... then why do you look like that?", Dean flicked his hands towards Sammy, indicating up and down Sammy's hellish figure before pointing towards his yellow eyes. 

"I'm a part of you, Dean. And I'm a piece of you thats dedicated to Purgatory. I'm not exactly going to be an angel on your shoulder.", Dean's mind jerked out of this ... whatever this is happening in front of him, remembering that somewhere Cas was here too. Cas. 

Dean jumps in suddenly, interrupting whatever Sammy's saying, "- Wait! You said every living thing in here has a soul train guide out of here? Does that mean Cas does too?", Dean asked hurriedly, tension building in his chest. _Maybe wherever Cas is he's safe_. 

"Cas isn't a human, Dean. He doesn't have a soul, like you. No soul, no soul guide. All he has now is his grace, his essence powering him.", Sam asked, distractedly, manifesting an old road map out of his pocket and looking at it warily. Dean leaned towards Sammy, trying to get a peek at that map, wondering if it was the real deal or not. Sam pivoted out of his reach, scowling and folding up the map back into his pocket.

Stepping back from the monster, Dean clapped his hands together decisively, 

"Well that settles it then. Cas doesn't have a lifeline out of here, We're going to have to track him down and show him the way out. Lead me to Cas and I'll let you lead me out.",Dean stated assuredly, closing the conversation for discussion. 

"Dean- You know this isn't a good idea. And do we really want to waste our effort trying to find this guy? I mean, it's not like he was taken by force. He just poof'd, like he always does.", Sam grumbled, laying out the hard truth. But Dean wouldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. If Cas disappeared it had to be for a reason, he wouldn't do this to Dean. Dean felt a bump in his heart at the thought, his feelings for Cas manifesting in him, filling him with a mixture of emotions.

* * *

 

Dean hadn't realized how he had felt for Cas until all that mess with Sam's missing soul. And even then, he had waved it off as nothing, making up little excuses every time Cas came around. But when they learned Cas had been working with Crowley, Dean couldn't make excuses anymore.

The pain he felt in his chest as Cas stood surrounded by holy fire, struggling to tell Dean the truth. That this whole time he had been working with Crowley, working as a double agent. God- even now that memory brought sharp pricks of pain across his body.

His memory flashed, and Dean saw Cas again, saw him taking in all those souls from Purgatory, as he stood by helpless. Dean was standing on the shore and Cas was walking off into the water as it poured over his head and body, before finally, he was gone.

Dean didn't think he had ever felt so much pain before, so much loss and wanting. He had lost people, he had lost so many, but none of them ever felt like this. Like there was an aching hole in his being, screaming at the dank emptiness inside him. That no matter what he did, he couldn't quench it, couldn't fill it. The pain was devouring him whole.

I guess that's what love does. Thats what Dean realized in those months after, as he realized that his pain wasn't the pain felt over loss of a crush, but as a loss of this... this whatever he was feeling.

Dean felt like he was being reborn the day he found Cas alive. Standing there, staring at him with his mouth wide open, at the man he thought he'd never see again. It was him, but it wasn't.  He'll never forget that moment, or the moment soon after. Before his eyes, Cas got his memory back, he watched the lightning strike the power right back into him.

He watched the memories leak back into Cas's mind, his eyes slowly recognizing the man standing in front of him. The emotions clouding across his face, the pain, and even worse, the happiness in his eyes. As Cas smiled at him, Dean knew, he knew what he was going to do. He would do anything to keep Cas by his side, keep him up and running, because the thought of losing him again hurt too much to bear.

He should of known.. should have known that only Cas would do something so selfless. He repaid his debt to them, he healed Sammy, but at the cost of his sanity.

With that, all hopes Dean ever had were gone. Cas wasn't even Cas anymore, but he still couldn't stop feeling how he felt about him. It nearly killed him all over again, having this broken Cas. Every moment with him hurt, like a knife in his heart, this stranger looking at him with blank eyes. Dean tried to take care of this Cas, the new Cas, as much as he could. But every minute, he wished for the real Cas back. But Dean knew, deep in his heart, that the real Cas wasn't coming back.

So he drunk himself to sleep every night, staying out late with anyone who caught his eye. Losing Bobby, taking on the Leviathans, everything he went through, was worthless. All for nothing. And now, here we are, Dean thought bitterly. Cheers.

The worst part is that after all of that bullshit, all the crap he went through, he still loves him. He can still feel it in his heart, in his very soul, pounding with the beat of the blood pumping through his veins.

All because of that one night, that one stupid night. Cas came to Bobby's house, trying to defend himself, to explain why he was working with Crowley. Dean could have sworn... that whatever he felt Cas had felt too. When Cas was pleading with him, begging him, his voice- sounded so broken. So very, very human. And his eyes, they looked so very much like how Dean's felt.

He hated himself for remembering it, for thinking of it now. But still in that moment... He had felt..

* * *

Violently bursting out of his thoughts, the present began seeping back in quickly, knocking whatever he had felt to the back of his mind. Sammy was yelling, shaking him, and Dean realized thats what had broken his train of thoughts, pulled him back from the abyss. 

"DEAN! DEAN! You have to pull yourself out of it! Stop thinking about him! DEAN!", Dean's hearing came back in quickly, his eyes swimming into focus. Sammy was shaking him so hard that he was starting to get whiplash. The little demon looked... kinda concerned, which can't be a good sign.

"What- What?? Get out of my face. What the Hell!", Dean smacked Sammy out of his face, pushing the kid off him. 

Sammy scowled, "Well, maybe if you hadn't started vocalizing our position to the entire world of Purgatory I wouldn't have had to seek out such drastic measures", Sammy snarled, pacing around nervously, looking at every twig and snap around them like he expected an army to come storming towards them. Dean blanched at Sammy's words, the blood draining from his face.

"What do you mean broadcasting our location? How?", Dean snapped back irritably, his voice sounding like a deep growl in his throat. Sam stopped pacing and looked Dean up and down, making a sarcastic _Oh like you don't know expression._ Dean's face heated up, blood rushing in his cheeks. 

"Oh, you know why. Because of what you're thinking about. And Who. And more importantly, how you're thinking of him.", Sam said, putting emphasis on each and every word, drawing the words out in a way that made Dean squirm. Dean didn't even acknowledge how he felt about Cas, let alone let this little creep acknowledge it out loud. His shoulders tensed as his muscles shook, anger boiling up inside him. At all the bullshit he's been through, for everything with Cas, and now this... It was all too much.

"Enough! Shut your mouth, you little fuck!", Deana growled, grabbing the little fuck by the collar, lifting him up to his face. Sam squirmed, cursing at him, pleading with him to let go. Even though it wasn't real Sammy, hurting it like that, it made him feel sick. He dropped the thing, turning away, his fists clenching and unclenching with adrenaline, his nerves shot. Sam picked himself up, swearing as he gave Dean the nastiest expression he'd ever seen, knocking the dirt of his coat and pants nonchalantly as he answered,

"I'm just answering your question, Dean. Longing, wishing, praying.... Those are some of the most human things you can do. Every monster in this place just caught scent of your prayer, and they're zoning in on us as we speak.", Dean looked around the ravine more cautiously, his ears straining to hear everything happening around them. 

"Things like that... feelings.. those will make you weak here, Dean. Keeping them, they can drive you mad. You'll get pulled into those memories more and more, until they'll be nothing left of you to save. Just an empty shell." Sam shook his head sadly, like he was driving by a car accident on the side of the road. Dean swore, grabbing the little fuck in front of him roughly to shut him up, 

"Okay, I get it Spock! Just shut the fuck up and tell me what we're supposed to do!", Dean exclaimed, his tone edgy. 

"We run and we fight. Purgatory ain't exactly a walk in the park. To get out of Purgatory we're going to have to complete seven steps before the exit will open. These steps are located along the trail to the exit, and even though we're not leaving yet we can still use the stops on the map's route. The stops are meant for humans only, meaning its warded against every monster in this place.", Sam explained in a hurried voice, whispering as he edged him and Dean slowly towards a pathway in front of them.

Before Dean could respond Sammy cut him off again, "But you gotta stop thinking about your boy-toy, or we're never going to lose these creeps. Deal?", Sammy answered, turning, and moving quickly into a passage on the other side of the clearing that Dean could have sworn wasn't there before. 

"Deal", Dean muttered, what little feelings of gratitude he had dissolving.

"As long as you lead me to Cas, I'm happy. Do your thing Dora the Explorer.", Dean retorted, following after him into the wall of darkness. As they ran through the dark Dean could have sworn that in the ravine Behind them he could hear the sound of people yelling, horrible animalistic noises that spoke of death, blood lust, and longing. He sent one last thought Cas's way before pushing him out of his head, 

_I'm coming, Cas. I'm coming._


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/28/15- I redrafted this whole chapter. So if you haven't read this chapter since its update on the given date, I greatly suggest you go back and reread. Alot of things have been put in, cut out, and generally switched around.  
> Thanks. XX finedininganddestiel

Time worked differently in Purgatory. Dean felt like they had been running for an hour, but for all he knew they could have been running for seconds, minutes, years even. Dean took it all in a stride, adjusting his senses and mind to run on Purgatory time.

Dean didn't think, he just ran. He reveled in the feeling of endorphin's rushing through his body, the power rolling off him. There was something about this place that Dean just couldn't place. This place, it almost felt natural to him. He shook it off, trying to clear the cobwebs, putting his energy into just focusing on running. 

After what felt like miles of landscapes flashing by, Sammy felt Dean slowing down, and he stopped to walk, pushing forward through the underbrush at a leisurely pace. Dean slowed his running, falling in line behind the little monster.

"So, Tarzan, Where are we headed? Stopping at George of The Jungle's place on the way?", Dean snapped a branch out of his face irritable, smacking at bugs nipping at his skin. Disgusting. Who knew Purgatory could get worse? 

"I've got a good idea on where we can find our angel.", Dean stumbled over his feet at Sam's words, but brushed it off as casual to not let on his emotions. Which I guess was pointless seeing that this kid was a figment of his imagination but whatever. 

"Yea? Where?", Dean was trying to keep his tone casual, not letting on how desperately he wanted to know the answer. Dean didn't know what it was about this place, but something about it, God, it felt pure. All of Dean's emotions that he usually kept so well under control seemed stronger than before, and all he could think about was Cas. Telling Cas how he felt about him, kissing him, touching him. Dean felt his mouth almost water at the thought. 

"Cut it out, Dean. Get yourself under of control. Keep thinking like that and we're never going to get out of here", Sam sniped at him, annoyance flickering across his features.

Dean smiled smugly and shrugged his shoulders in a motion that said _We'll, What can you do about it?_ kind of way. 

"Disgusting", Sam muttered, his eyes rolling. Dean switched his mind into different gears, observing the landscape around them. Night had fallen in Purgatory, masking the place in an even grayer lighting. The sky and world was dark, but in a twinge of coloring not seen on Earth. Almost like a rainstorm had come through and washed the color out of the whole world. There wasn't any stars in the sky, just a just blanket of velvet above them. Yet it was still light enough for them to be able to move freely. 

Dean coughed slightly, bringing up his question again, "So, where do you think Cas is?", Dean's eyes were squinted in concentration as he stared at Sammy, trying to read his body language for answers. 

"If I was him, I know where I would go. Mt. Sinai", Sam answered simply. Dean's eye's rolled, What does it take to get some explanation from this jackass?

Dean halfheartedly murmured a response, not having one fucking clue what the actual hell Sam was talking about. Mt. Sinai, What is it like the Mt. Rushmore of Purgatory?

"It's from the Old Testament. When Moses led his people out of Egypt he eventually ends up at Mt. Sinai. He ended up staying on the mountain for forty days and forty nights, writing down the Ten Commandments directly spoken from God.", Sam's words kind of struck a match in Dean's head, bringing up old half formed memories of this story. Dean nodded along, Sammy helping him remember the old tale. 

"Alright, I got it. Mt. Sinai, the party palace of God. But why would Cas be there?", Dean ran a hand over the stubble growing on his face, wiping dirt off his face halfheartedly.

Sam wrinkled his forehead thoughtfully, searching the sky above them like it held the answers they seeked. A lone star blinked and dropped towards the planes, bursting out with a blink. Dean took it all in, Sam speaking in the quiet of its aftermath,

"Because he's looking for forgiveness, Dean. All those souls in Heaven, Crowley, Purgatory, Leviathans, I think it's all too much for him. He probably believes that's his best shot at talking to God. He's probably asking for redemption, or guidance. Who knows, it could be another way out too."

Dean felt the truth of what Sammy said, it reverberating in his chest like a honing beacon to his heart. Dean casually looked over at Sammy, his brother still looking up at the night sky. For just one millisecond, if Dean pushed out all the thoughts in his head, he could pretend that this was the real Sammy. That it was years ago, when his brother still looked like this.

Dean closed his eyes in response, just taking it all in. _Maybe this is just all a nightmare_ , Dean thought lazily. _I'll open my eyes, wake up next to Sammy, and find that my whole life has just been a dream._

"You know, when you talk like that and don't act like such a fucking douchebag, I can kinda see how you could be a part of me", Dean teased, not even bothering to open his eyes. Dean could just picture the scowl the kid was making, and he smirked, knowing that he was probably right without looking. Sammy huffed out an exasperated sigh, turning back towards the trailway.

 

"We should probably keep going, Dean, if we want to make it before twilight.", was all Sam said, speaking quietly as if not to break the silence residing between them. Dean opened his eyes with a sigh, taking in the weary landscape in front of them.

"Yea, lead the way", Dean replied, quietly following the boy through the woods once again.

* * *

 

Dean didn't feel like bantering with Monster Sammy anymore now. He was exhausted, down to the bone. He let his thoughts stew over as they continued on. Dean couldn't keep his thoughts from cycling back to Cas though. He'd feel all the regular emotions; fear, regret, worry, and anger. Bright hot anger. He felt it spark each time in his chest, that flair of anger at Cas for leaving him behind here. For going off alone on some holy redemption quest, and who know's what state of mind he was in.

Each emotion seemed to drain more and more energy from him, like he was being dragged down into quicksand. Slower and slower, he put one foot in front of the other, moving forward. He needed to stop, he was just.. tired. The world started to blur in front of him,

"Sammy-", Dean breathed the words out weakly. Sammy threw a furtive glance over his shoulders, his eyes widening as he took in Dean's appearance, 

"Hold on, We're almost there. Just a little further.", Sam murmured, walking forward hurriedly. He pulled his map out of his pocket, for what Dean swore was like the millionth time, moving his finger over the map, tracing some unknown trail. Dean rolled his eyes, pausing to hold himself up against a tree so he could catch his breath. They were on a jagged little path, raised up some from the ground. Looking down both ways was a steep incline, covered with trees, rocks, and other unpleasantness. 

"It should be... right around.. Here. There!", Sam pointed, Dean pushing himself off the tree to get a better view. In the distant Dean could just barely make out the structure of a distant building that was taking shape in the misty fog. Sam pushed forward into the fog, jogging quickly with excitement.

"Hey! Wait up, Sammy!", Dean swore, running after him. He pushed forward, knocking branches out of his face. As he got closer to the building in front of him he skidded to a sudden halt, the blood draining from his face. In front of him Sammy stood, looking up at the front steps of a house. Their house, his childhood home from Lawrence, Kansas. 

The house loomed above them like a falling moon, drenching them in shadow. Dean took a step forward cautiously, looking up at the house suspiciously. The windows were completely black, and there was no sense of movement inside.  

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but his words were cut off as Sam started forward, moving up the porch steps. He stared, horrified, as Sam walked forwards towards the front door. Dean felt a pit opening up in his stomach, and all his instincts told him to run, leave this place. He stood there petrified, as Sam stopped right outside the door. 

"Sammy!", Dean stuttered, pulling enough of himself together to talk. Sam looked back at him solemnly, as his eyes transitioned into a glowing yellow. Quickly, he turned away from Dean, whipping out a weapon from his belt. 

Quickly Sammy moved the knife swift and fast across his open palm. Beads of black blood began to ooze out of the incision, bubbling like water reaching its boiling point. It sizzled and hissed, the blood drudging out like a slow moving lava. Sam didn't break his concentration at the cut, moving his bloody hand towards the middle of the front door of their childhood home. 

He placed his palm down quickly and firmly, and as Sam's bloody palm made contact with the door he let out bone chilling cry.

"Sammy!", Dean cried out, trying to move forward to hep him. He didn't make it a few steps before he had to stop, blinded by this intense white light. The light seemed to be oozing out of the bloody hand mark on the door, and All Dean could make out in the light was that dark red hand print and the silhouette of his little brother.

 

He squinted at the light, realizing that it wasn't a solitary luminescence, but that it was alive, moving. The light was weaving between the hand print and Sammy, flowing in and out like a wave in the ocean. Dean stood there, fascinated, watching the current move into his brother. Sammy let out another horrifying scream, breaking Dean out of the trance the light was trapping him in.

 _Sammy!_ Dean thought, even though he knew the kid in front of him wasn't really Sam. Dean pushed forward, his whole body reeling backwards from the source of light, it burning his skin like a hot flame. He shielded his eyes, finally reaching Sammy. Dean reached out a hand, grabbing desperately at Sam's shoulder. Dean felt his fingers on Sammy's coat, and he latched onto his solid being.

Dean pivoted Sammy around, spinning Sam towards him. Dean looked into his face, not knowing what exactly he was looking at. The blinding white light seemed to be leaking out of every orifice of his body, leaking out of his eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. Beneath the light of his eyes, Dean could see Sam's eyes flashing, transitioning quickly back between Sammy's brown irises and Azazel's yellow ones. Over and over Dean watched them shift, that painful scream escaping Sammy's mouth the whole time.

Helplessness overwhelmed Dean as he looked at the boy in front of him, and he did the only thing he knew how to do. He bent down on one knee, and wrapped his arms around little Sammy in a huge hug. He pulled Sammy's body into his, feeling Sam's stiff form melting into him.

He felt the fabric of Sammy's childhood coat, and he smelled him, that childhood smell that always seems to fade. It smelled off John's old cigarettes, old motel rooms. It smelled like the backseat of the Impala, and the smell of summer wind whipping through the air. He held onto Sammy, with all his might, never wanting to let go. The pain was excruciating, the light source that was burning his skin as he stood afar from him now boiling him from the inside out. Dean clenched his teeth, pushing through the pain.

It felt to Dean like years, but in reality, it was probably over in a matter of seconds. 

Slowly, the light started to fade, speeding up as it quickly began moving like water down a bathtub drain, draining from the bloody hand print on the doorway back into Sammy's open palm. Dean felt it extracting from every essence of his body, from every pore in his skin, excruciatingly painful as it pulled itself apart. As the last pieces of light vacuumed into his open palm the heavy incision closed itself up, healing itself instantly.

Sammy swayed on his feet, woozy, and as he opened his eyes Dean could have sworn that for a split second they stayed the dark brown that they had always been. But as Sam blinked up at Dean they appeared back to their normal, monstrous yellow again. Without the killer light blinding him, Dean examined Sammy quickly,  giving him a once over as he stood there somewhat conscious.

He still looked like monster Sam, but a little less monster. His skin seemed more of a healthy color, his features less harsh. His face seemed to Dean more human than he had previously looked. Dean's head was spinning, trying to wrap his mind around whatever just happened and how.

Gradually, Sammy's eyes began to focus, his pupils starting to move around in his eyes, taking in the surroundings. Sam let out a small little kid groan, a noise Dean hadn't heard in at least fifteen years. Slowly, Sammy's eyes moved over until they looked up at Dean. 

"Dean? What happened?", Sam's voice was quieter, and he moved his little hand up, rubbing his face tiredly. 

"Umm.. Well, I'm not quite sure. You did some voodoo magic with your blood and everything just kinda escalated.", Dean answered worriedly, his eyebrows scrunching above his eyes as he examined his monster brother.

Dean's words seemed to help Sammy regain his thoughts, and he quickly pushed himself out of Dean's grasp. He walked to the front door unsteadily, placing his hand delicately on the doorknob. Dean held his breath as Sammy slowly turned the knob. The door pushed open slowly, a eerie creak groaning as it moved. Dean got up from his knees back onto his feet, standing behind his brother with one hand on his shoulder. He looked forward into the house, but couldn't make anything out but darkness. 

"Welcome Home, Dean.", was all Sammy said, as he began walking forward into the house. Dean took a deep breath, following right behind him.  


End file.
